Hi Friends,
I’m so glad you’re here! Today we’re going to describe what hoarding disorder really is. We hear so many people say “I’m a bit of a hoarder”, “they’re a bit of a hoarder” without understanding what that actually means. With that in mind, the first half of this post will be the technical diagnostic information that’s, unfortunately, a little dry but necessary. Please, bear with me… you’ll be happy you did 🙂
Accepting that you may suffer from a psychological condition like hoarding is extremely difficult. Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards acceptance. Being here means you are contemplating change; well done. If you’re here researching hoarding to better understand or help a loved one, welcome.
Are you really a hoarder?
Here’s two things you can do right now to answer this question.
FIRST: Read this post to understand hoarding disorder.
Understanding the definition and the criteria used by the psychological community to diagnose hoarding will help clarify whether you need professional help.
SECOND: Engage in introspective journaling about your beliefs.
All you need is a plain notebook and a writing implement. I have put together a few prompts to get you started. Trust me! It’s not WooWoo spiritual stuff it’s just a way to improve your self-awareness. To change we must first acknowledge where we are now.
Before we continue, I’d like to say no one is their diagnosis so no one is a hoarder…you are a hoarding sufferer or a person who hoards. However, many people in the community use the term “hoarder” to mean anything from a home environment with a few piles of mail on the bench-top to impassable mountains of stuff with goat trails between rooms without really knowing what it means.
Here is the clinical description of typical hoarding behaviours and thoughts.
What is hoarding?
Hoarding disorder (HD) is considered to be related to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). In fact, for a long time it was thought to be a type of OCD but since 2013 HD has been considered a distinct psychological disorder. It’s found in 2-5% of the population at clinical levels* so it’s very common.
Behaviours
At the centre of hoarding behaviour is intense anxiety about parting with possessions that leads to pathological avoidance, in the form of saving. The majority of hoarding sufferers will also compulsively acquire objects either by buying or obtaining them for free. However, it is possible that the ordinary accumulation of objects could lead to a hoarded environment over a long period of time if discarding is close to nil.
“Having a spare room or a garage full of possessions isn’t sufficient to warrant a diagnosis of hoarding disorder.”
Dr Jan Eppingstall
These behaviours of saving and acquiring must lead to large volumes of disorganised clutter, that render critical areas of a home unusable for their original purpose. The living situation must lead to significant psychological distress for the individual OR those living in the home.
So, if the kitchen can’t be used to prepare meals, the bathroom can’t be accessed easily, or the bed can’t be slept in, then that is hoarding. BUT...
To clarify, having a couple of spare rooms or a garage full of possessions isn’t sufficient to warrant a diagnosis of hoarding disorder. This might be situational clutter that is not driven by specific hoarding related beliefs. So what are the common motivators described by hoarding sufferers for chronic saving and acquiring behaviours?
Beliefs
The specific reasons given, by individuals who hoard, for their intense anxiety about discarding and accumulating possessions can vary widely; notwithstanding, the most common motivations to saving and acquiring stuff are emotional attachment, memory, responsibility, and control.
Emotional Attachment
Thought to be the most common reason for saving stuff is emotional attachment. We all keep items for sentimental reasons, but research indicates those suffering from HD save more items than the average person because they feel distress and physical anxiety (such as racing heart beat, nausea, shortness of breath, lightheadedness) more acutely when contemplating throwing out, donating, or passing on objects they own. When asked, hoarding sufferers say they feel like their belongings are a part of their identity, and represent who they are in the world, thus letting them go is like losing a loved one or cutting off a limb. Linked to emotional attachment is the saving of possessions as a memory aid.
Memory
Many hoarding sufferers say they feel they need possessions as a memory prompt. This could be to remember the peak experiences in their lives (think wedding memorabilia or children’s clothes) or it could be to remember to read an article in the paper or pay a bill. They don’t trust their memory and many believe that they should be able to remember events and to-do items perfectly. They believe perfect recall is possible in the future if they save the object.
Responsibility
When working with people who hoard, researchers and helping professionals have found that some sufferers are highly anxious about using all objects to their full potential; upcycling, and recycling those that are no longer useful, in the correct or perfect manner. Many who hoard say this is in response to the “throw-away” society we live in and they are trying to make a small difference by “rescuing” items, off the side of the road, with the intent of repurposing them to use themselves, to give to others, or to sell. This feeling of responsibility does not come from an emotional attachment to the items; it’s more about avoiding feelings of shame and guilt about not doing what they believe is “right” and even “moral” with respect to inanimate objects.
Control
Finally, many who hoard like to control all they come in contact with. Once possessions enter the home they become part of one’s identity and offer a sense of control over one’s entire life, which may be in chaos.
Remember, these feelings or beliefs held by hoarding sufferers are not unique to those that are symptomatic. Feeling the need to save and acquire possessions is on a continuum and we all use stuff as an emotional crutch, to aid our memory, alleviate climate change guilt, and to control our lives via our environment. The only difference is degree.
For most of us, time spent dealing with our belongings is minimal and we are able to enjoy free time relaxing and experiencing the joys of life. For those who hoard dealing with possessions can potentially overwhelm all other activities, and constantly occupy their thoughts and actions.
Alternatively, hoarding sufferers may engage in extreme avoidance by blocking out the hoarded home environment by pretending the stuff isn’t there or by constantly distracting themselves outside the home – perhaps working obsessively, socialising, gambling, or shopping only returning home to sleep.
If you have avoided parting with possessions because you fear the fear (yup it’s a thing) and the physical pain of loss for most of your life due to your rigid beliefs about your possessions including: emotional attachment, memory, responsibility, and/or control then you might just suffer from hoarding disorder.
What do you tell yourself about your stuff?
You need to ask yourself a bunch of different questions in order to understand how these beliefs and behaviours are limiting you. Remember, it’s not about the stuff, it’s about what the stuff represents and what is standing between you and living a fulfilling and joyful life.
Set aside 20-30 minutes and just WRITE. In a notebook. Any notebook. Without judgment. Write the day, date and time at the top of the page and just begin. Make sure you aren’t interrupted or distracted – so no devices!
Use these questions as prompts, or write about anything that comes to mind related to you and your stuff. BUT, it must be uncensored and reflective. Write about your feelings and thoughts about your stuff NOT comparisons or judgements of you or others and especially not blame.
Journal about these questions:
- “What am I not doing because of the stuff?”
- “When was the last time I felt relaxed in my home?”
- “Are my possessions actually stopping me from feeling anxiety?”
- “What are my core values? What do I wish my life stood for?”
- “What are my key relationships?” “Are they healthy/supportive/loving?”
- “Who can I be vulnerable with?” “Who has earned my trust?“ “Who can I talk to?”
What now?
Write until you feel ready to talk to someone, who has earned your trust, about where you find yourself right now. Keep writing, daily if you need, until you believe you can explain your feelings and describe your relationships with your stuff. Being vulnerable and opening yourself up to those worthy of your vulnerability will deepen and enrich your relationships more than you dreamed. That being said, you must feel safe enough to share your rawest emotions with the person you choose. If you don’t feel anyone in your life is worthy you might want to contact a professional or drop me a line. I’m here to help…and don’t forget:
“The stuff doesn’t make you enough. YOU are enough.”
Dr Jan Eppingstall
I hope this was helpful. I wrote it as a guide for self-reflection and growth, but also as a reference for loved ones who may be concerned about your living conditions. Send a link to those in your life that either want to help by better understand your feelings, or those who are ill informed about the debilitating and complex nature of hoarding and need a bit of education.
Just remember you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. This is a first positive step towards a new way of living. Congratulations!
Next time we will look at WHY people hoard and whether it’s important to understand the source of the disorder.
Until then, remember It’s just stuff!
Dr Jan 🙂
*clinical levels are around a 4/9 in the Clutter Image Rating which you can find here.