Stuffology: Unpacking the psychology of finders + keepers.
Welcome, {{hug}}! This is a non-judgemental space where you can feel “heard” and understood. It’s a space for you to learn more about the psychology behind why you find it so difficult to let go and offer empirically supported methods you can use to change your life.
It’s also a space for you to send your family members who need some help understanding the way you think, feel, and behave. A space for them to learn how to help without using judgement or shame.
Remember that playground chant: “Finders keepers, losers weepers!” Back then treasures could have been bottle tops, interesting looking rocks, or 1 cent coins (yes I do remember that…unfortunately). The shear joy of finding something unusual or valuable was like magic, wasn’t it?
For some of us seeking and finding treasures continues into adulthood and can even become a core value; a way we measure success in life. Being able to see the beauty in objects others would consider “trash” and imagining creative ideas to repurpose these treasures feels virtuous…until you are buried in a lifetime of treasures you’ve found and kept feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
But what if finding and keeping is stopping you from living a full life?
What if you woke up today, looked around you and realised you’d been terribly wrong. All those hours you spent finding and keeping things has left you socially isolated, alone and stuck. All your treasured possessions have come between you and all the magic, opportunity, and joy life has to offer.
You’re ready to change but you don’t know how.
I’m here to tell you CAN get unstuck. You CAN get out from under your stuff. You CAN live the life you want.
I can help those ready to change their lives for the better and coach those who want to offer support to others in their decluttering journey.
WHY are you ready to change?
Something BIG has happened or is about to happen, right? A death in the family, a relationship breakdown, a relocation, or a newly empty nest are all examples of anxiety provoking circumstances that make dealing with our stuff feel overwhelming. Equally, positive life changes like merging two homes, or the joy of a new tiny member of the family could also make the need to reduce the clutter in our homes necessary … but no less paralysing. Add in time pressure and other’s expectations of how easy the task appears on the surface and chaos ensues.
The truth is hoarding disorder is the extreme on a behavioural continuum. That means that the way hoarding sufferers feel and behave is not dissimilar to everyone else. In fact, we all feel attached to our possessions, believe them to be a magical portal to the past, and expect them to refresh our memories by their mere presence.
I like to say, the only difference between us and those people on TV shows like “hoarders” is a bunch of circumstance, a pinch of experience, a dash of genetic predisposition, and a sprinkle of chance. But like everything…your actions have led you to exactly where you are today and they can lead you out…
The path to change is simple, but never easy…
If you feel you need one-on-one help I am available physically (in Australia/NZ) or virtually (via Skype/email/Facebook) to coach you through these changes. I am also available to advise your family members so they can be empathetic and compassionate support people. Email me jan@stuffology.com.au
If you are here to gain an insight into why you do what you do…stick around…subscribe! I’ll drop some thought-provoking and helpful stuff into your inbox only when I feel it’s something you need to hear.